Dear old friend,

I heard you’re leaving. I am happy for you that you have finally realized what you want in life. It makes me sad as well, because chance is one thing we don’t have in hand to talk about what happened.

We let time pass by unnoticed. It has been nine months since the last time we talked. We just fell apart, suddenly.

My friend, believe me, I have nothing against you. I never wanted us to fall apart. But I believe that both of us know it’s best this way.

My friend, SOMEDAY, you’ll get to read this. Consider this as an apology. I never made the move to reconcile. I know it’s awkward and I know you feel the same way, too.

Anyways, I wish you luck and health. And I hope that one day, someday, we’ll get to talk again — just like the old days.

I will miss you, my friend.


it took me so long to understand
who I needed to be for myself
and it took me too long to realize
that I didn’t need anybody else
so now I’m sitting here in silence
and all I can feel is regret
and it seems to be so easy for you now
but its not so easy for me to forget

—How long (Allison Crowe)

September 22, 2008

You just left.  Somehow, it took me a thousand times to decide whether to shoot you a call or not.  I opted not.

Over the past few weeks, I kept on playing “Apologize”. I never knew why until today. I guess it’s too late to apologize.

My friend, you deserve nothing but the best.  Please, don’t waste your time fooling yourself about something you can never ever have. Just let it go, my friend.  It’s okay to let go.

It’s weird.  I fought myself to fall asleep.  I didn’t realize that I already shed a tear.  It’s ironic.  I’m not sure what this is for.  I’m not sure if I’m going to miss you.  I’m not sure if we’ll meet again.  I’m not even sure that you’ll ever find this post ONE DAY but I really hope you do.

And I’ll wait for that ONE DAY for us to talk again — just like the old days.